My doctor put me on Psypil, and within weeks I was a new man. Before I’d suffered extreme anxiety in any social situation. At the beginning of a party I’d spend half an hour in the bathroom gripping the sink and staring into the mirror, trying to stop shaking. The thought of getting up on a stage hit me with waves of nausea and powerful stomach cramps. Even understanding people – knowing when they were really happy with me, for instance, or they were just being sarcastic – was impossible. It’s hard to describe how debilitating it was, and as a result I never had close friends. Coworkers took advantage of me, and I was often the last to be promoted.
Psypil regulates the neurotransmitters in the social centers of your brain. You don’t feel drugged at all. You're in control of your emotions… instead of the other way around. I can actually look at someone who would normally make me mad or afraid, and I can just turn those feelings off.
And with that control comes a wonderful clarity. You can read people better than you ever thought possible. Two days after I started my treatment I watched a couple from across a crowded restaurant, and I knew she was going to break up with her boyfriend before he did! A week later I knew the best time to confront my supervisor about how he lied on my review was on his way home. That would have been out of the question before Psypil. I would be too scared of “making a scene.” But I watched his body language as he fumbled with his keys in the dark outside his apartment, and I just knew he lived alone. I knew no one would miss him.
Getting his job was the best thing I ever did. Well… the second best. But what’s really important is for the first time in my life I feel good about myself.
Music: Probably Will - Concrete Blonde: