Wednesday, February 16, 2011

We're Not Going to Let A Hell-Portal Spoil This Family Vacation

People, listen up. Hello! Jamie, Tyler, get out of the back and look at me. You too, Keira. I want four sets of eyes looking at me right. Now. Honey, you too. I know, I know, but gimme a minute.

We're on vacation together. Because we love each other. We're a family. That's all that matters now, not who broke the Pentagram Seal we found next to that abandoned cottage. Being a family means you care about each other. And we're willing to forgive and move past things. I think we all share a little blame here, and if we start pointing fingers, where does it end? Right now, we're out for a little drive in the minivan, and we're having fun, and if we reach the FEMA rescue station just a few miles away, everything is going to be fine.

Now, we've all seen and done some things that put everyone in a bad mood. Some days on vacation are like that. Keira doesn't even like the beach, because it's hot out, but she came along and she found that great place where they sold sunglasses. And your mom certainly didn't think she could use that entrenching tool to help us fight the things in the cellar, but she was really, really good at it. Wasn't she?! Everybody, clap for mom and Keira! Yay.

Okay, so you see it's all about attitude. We're going to have to make it to safety, and some of the shambling things might come back with their ghost breath. And even if that happens we're going to get through it together, and without teasing each other if someone wets his pants, or screams. And then we'll have those candy bars I've been saving in the cooler next to the ammunition and antibiotics we looted from the clinic.

I know, Jamie. I hear the scratching. Don't look. No! Don't. You listen to me, Mister! Ugh, okay, honey. Stop crying. Stop crying, okay? I told you not to look. No, that's not grandpa. It's just his body, and daddy had to back over him, because he was trying to break the window and get in. I want you to plug your ears real tight, because Daddy's going to put this in reverse again, and...

Shhh. Keira, don't tell him what you just heard. That's mean.

Okay, who wants to sing? I want to hear some singing!

95 Bottles of Beer on the Wall. 95 Bottles of Beeer! You take one down, pass it around...
95 Bottles of Beer...

Jamie keep your head down. Daddy has to shoot that thing before we can leave.

No, it's NOT GRANDPA, okay?

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