Saturday, January 21, 2012

A Message From A Woman Being Spied On By Newt Gingrich While She Showers

I don't think it's any of our business, you know? A politician has a right to a private life - even if that private life is kind of sordid. I'm unnerved and disgusted by Newt Gingrich the man, because he's watching me through a high-powered telescope on the roof next door. But I know Newt Gingrich the president will bring the strong moral leadership that Washington desperately needs.

If you're a values voter like me, you probably sense that America has lost its way. We've become so tolerant as a society that we let sexual deviants like Newt Gingrich trample over our rights and threaten our families. Only Newt Gingrich has what it takes to put a stop to that. But I think we need to let him manage his personal life in private. That way he can continue regulating the private lives of the rest of us. Because he's not a woman or gay. That would change everything.

Vote Gingrich. It's the right thing to do.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go out there and taser that freak.

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