Tuesday, February 21, 2012

A Message From The Wicked

Hey you!

Just thought we'd spell some things out. We're the bad guys. The unrighteous. The lost, the evil, the fallen, the a-holes and d-bags of the world. We're the wicked.
But of course, we like to refer to ourselves as something else. The winners.

Admit it: You're jealous. You like to pretend this whole ethics and compassion bit is going to work out for you... but you kinda know we're going to be running your governments and corporations until those things just don't exist anymore. We're the folks who wreck the economy, and then get a bailout, and then convince you to replace the last bastard who sold out to us with the next bastard who'll sell out to us even more. We have a stake in every record company, every movie, and every sports team. And they always thank the other guy when they get their awards... but you know we're the ones responsible. We are, as story goes, legion. We collect the reward. We get the girl.

So... I guess the big question is, why don't you understand? Why don't you get it? You people spend all your time wondering if we have some kind of flaw in our personalities, our brain chemistry. You're thinking we didn't get enough love. You're thinking we didn't get enough discipline. You're thinking one day maybe a pill will come along.

Maybe you've got it backwards. Maybe you're the sick ones. The strange ones. After all, evil works. Good is more... speculative. Treasures stored up in heaven and all that. Maybe, just maybe, we're the ones who are straightforward and practical and predictable and even kind of boring. Maybe the real mystery is why you do what you do. Why you bother. Why you keep struggling, even though you know it's not going to pay off. Maybe we don't really need a hundred channels and a dozen blockbusters to peer into the minds of killers, thieves, and cheats. Maybe those answers are all the obvious ones, and there ought to be more stories about people trying to be good, because your stories are the truly bizarre ones after all.

Of course, you realize we're just saying that to keep you snowed. Because we're, you know, evil. And anyway, you'd never take us up on it. You just keep thinking you're going to learn something about Enron and Ted Bundy you didn't already know. Well... Sucks to be you.


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