Monday, April 23, 2012

"The GOP Lacks Credibility" By Daisy, An Adult Hound Dog

I normally wouldn't weigh in on this kind of issue. For trenchant political commentary you'd usually have to find a Shepherd or a Collie. But the Republican party simply isn't providing voters with an adequate, sensible alternative to Barack Obama this election cycle. You don't need to be some kind of work-breed super genius to see that.
Look, I'm not being partisan here. I'm a pack animal, so I have centrist instincts. Both parties are necessary in this country to argue over the never-ending trade offs in our political system - economic equality vs. entrepreneurial dynamism and security vs. personal liberty. The nation as a whole, and even Democrats in particular, need a strong GOP to provide alternatives and sharpen analysis. But when you're fielding candidates like Michele Bachmann, Herman Cain, and Rick Perry, you're not doing any of that. I can grasp this concept, and I think the vacuum cleaner is some kind of floor-demon.

And as a hunting dog, I come from Southern gun culture. But even I think Republican talk about the "real America" against the "liberal elites" is off-putting. To say that Sarah Palin's family is more authentically American than a college professor from Brooklyn is silly. Also, all those conspiracy theories about Obama's heritage and citizenship are pure dog-whistle racism. I know some things about dog whistles, people.

It's an old adage that you can't beat something with nothing. As flawed and vulnerable as Obama is - saddled with massive deficits and high unemployment - an empty suit like Romney backed by an embarrassing group of unhinged social conservatives is not going to convince swing voters to pull the lever their way. Have you noticed how often a party out of power with an enraged base ends up nominating this kind of candidate, by the way? Isn't Romney just a warmed over Kerry for the right? Who was a liberal Dole? Who was the conservative brand of Mondale? You see the pattern? You focus so much on how you hate the guy in power that you can't think ahead to come up with a clear set of policies for after you win. I know where this lack of foresight leads you: You're running wild off the leash, five miles down a strange road and covered in skunk spray. Just like Newt Gingrich.

My advice is for the sharper people in the GOP to sit down, stop thinking about the next race, the next win, and just ask themselves... What kind of party do we want to be? How do we want to unite this country and address the serious challenges we face without empty rhetoric and name-calling? It's not like there aren't answers out there: I remember a senator named Alan Simpson who had some pretty reasonable ideas on debt-cutting. And I know there was a Republican named Weinberger who warned us about runaway interventionism, and a GOP president named Eisenhower who even said some alarming things about a growing military industrial complex. All of them solid conservatives with real answers. But the real answers take work, and they take mature, competent candidates - not this sideshow we've had so far.

Now if you'll excuse me there's a squirrel I'd like to decapitate.

1 comment:

  1. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Brilliant... just brilliant. Wish I'd wrote it. WURF!


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