Friday, September 14, 2012

"American Foreign Policy" By Francis Walsingham


Intelligence depends on making contacts within networks of people. I'm sure you understand this already, but it's certainly worth repeating when discussing foreign policy.

As your government attempts to discern friend from foe in the rapidly changing political world of the Middle East and North Africa, it would help matters if your various politicians and commentators tried to refrain from making sweeping generalizations about the people who live there. And... wait...

You don't know who I am, do you? Elizabeth I, the Spanish Armada... Any of that ring a bell? Well, I was the spymaster during the... Okay, fine. Never mind.

"American Foreign Policy"
By Allen Dulles

Many commentators in the media now seem pretty naive, the way they openly called for regime change without any thought about how Islamists would exploit the resulting chaos, and whether the underlying antipathy for America in these societies would really go away. People who watched the Obama administration get involved in Arab Spring uprisings ought to be concerned about repeating our mistakes in Syria, for example. But conservatives who demonize all Muslims are hurting us as well.

The point is to try to appreciate the complex interlocking networks of Arab and Muslim communities in Middle Eastern countries, and in the West. Unite potential friends and allies... and divide and neutralize enemies. And understand everybody's viewpoint, whether you agree or not. Because only then...

Huh? I'm Allen Dulles. I was head of the CIA. The CIA. Are you serious? I can't believe it. Very well:

"American Foreign Policy"
By A Pair Of Tits And An Attack Helicopter


The point is, we need to stop thinking in simplistic terms. Bad guys. Good guys. Blowing things up, and toppling regimes we don't like. Foreign policy is not an action film.

Are you even paying attention?

Sigh. You people are fucking doomed. Lap dances are $20. Rocket fire costs extra.


(NOTE: The photo of the cleavage was by "colrouleblanc," used under Creative Commons license. Information here.)

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