Friday, June 15, 2012

"We're Done Here," A Message From America's Car And Truck Commercials


Attention, former customers: We your nation's car and truck commercials have made an important decision, and we wanted to let you know as soon as possible. We're finished. All of us. We're stepping out of the game. It's over.

Of course we're proud of much of our past work. For many years we were honored to keep you entertained and even inspired about the kind of country this is, and the kinds of things we could do. But we feel increasingly uncomfortable selling this image of America at a time when we need more sober analysis and critical thinking about our government and its policies.

We have massive budget deficits, unchecked military interventions all over the world, and a growing network of spy agencies and defense contractors beyond any democratic supervision or control. A little girl saluting a flag just isn't going to cut it.

Obviously part of the reason we have a dysfunctional foreign policy is we're dependant on oil. And we feel extremely guilty about our role in that. Not lobbyist guilty, but sometimes it's close. The problem however, is more complicated than merely oil imports - it's about intellectual decay. Sometime in the past few decades politicians and advertisers discovered that you could win an election or sell a product just by making people feel really, really good about our country. Voters and consumers rewarded them for it, and they responded by making people feel good about feeling good. It created a powerful cycle of consent and control. And the only problem is that we lost sight of the fact that feeling good about the country isn't the same thing as being a good citizen. Sometimes they're the exact opposite.

Do you get that? Do you people understand this? When we kill off thousands of our soldiers in wars we don't understand, and the government tells us we're not any safer so they can keep rifling through our bags or hunting foreigners with flying robots you shouldn't in any way feel good about that. It's your duty - not your right, although it's that too - but it's your duty to get mad and perplexed and ask questions and read as much as you can to find some answers and change things. A picnic on a pickup's bed with Mellencamp blasting from the radio has nothing at all to do with this. Getting a gentle high about this place isn't helping. Try some confusion and anxiety. You need it.

Until then we're going to sell cigarettes.

Monday, June 11, 2012

I'm Just Some Bills

I'm just some bills. Yep, I'm only a wad of bills. And I'm sitting here in a plastic bag in the trunk of someone's car. Up on Capitol Hill.
It's a long, long way for a guy like me to become part of the system and really change things. Someone needs to add me to a whole pile of money before we can get anything done. And how they do that is a very intricate and misunderstood process. I could explain it to you in a story, or maybe even a song. But you wouldn't want to learn my little jingle. You'd just get mad and maybe start to cry.

I'm waiting for someone to funnel me into a creepy, anonymous-sounding organization with a name like "People For A Better Way Forward For America." Maybe some page will hand me out to a journalist so he won't run a story or give me to a financial analyst or a retired military officer so they can go on TV and say something sort of dangerous and untrue. It's complicated!

Boy, I sure hope I can help some Congressmen deregulate a whole industry or maybe support the next war. I want to convince thousands of ordinary people to call up Washington and each make the same demand, because it's exactly what two dozen political operatives told them to do on every major network using weirdly identical language. And no one called them on it, because why would anyone do that?

I guess I'm like everyone else. I want to make a difference. Oh I hope and pray that I will, but today I am still... just some bills.

I'll probably just go to a hooker.
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