Thursday, November 8, 2012

"We Can't Believe We Have Slightly Less Overwhelming Power," By White People

How are ya? We're the White People. You've probably heard about this recent election, haven't you? It's got us completely worried. Pundits have been talking about the changing demographics of the country - about how it gave Barack Obama an edge, and how the Republican base is shrinking.

This fact will terrify you: In 2008 white voters made up 74 percent of the electorate. This year that number plunged to 72 percent.

72 Percent!

Do you know what this means for the country? For the future of our Republic? That means that white people, while still controlling all the stuff, will have to increasingly rely on getting support from people who aren't white at all.

We won't be able to have a party led by guys who secretly support the Confederacy anymore. We're going to have to learn some goddamn Spanish instead of just yelling louder and more slowly. We're really, really going to have to watch what we say about deporting people. And even when we run another Republican presidential candidate... it will never be the same kind of Republican. The kind who is so white his glare is visible from space.

It's like we don't even know this country anymore. Sure we've got a lock on Congress, the state capitols, the Supreme Court, and the biggest, most powerful companies. But now we don't always get exactly what we want. Now we have to ask first.

We sometimes have to ask first. What the fuck is happening to America?

Barack Obama built a radical, hyper-partisan coalition of African Americans, Hispanics, Asians, and white people. Mitt Romney tried to build a moderate, inclusive group of white people, plus folks who voted for white people or worked for them and maybe got threatened with firing if they didn't vote Republican. But you can't do that anymore. We've lost something precious in this nation. We're now going to have to argue and struggle and persuade, before eventually getting what we want.

This country was based on the idea that everyone, regardless of race or culture, could have equal rights... And white leaders.

Now that dream is gone forever.

Monday, November 5, 2012

A Message To America From Reality

Hello. It's Reality here. Just wanted to drop in for a bit, and clear the air.

Look, I know you're ducking me. It's no secret. I'm not mad or anything. As the property of non contingent existence that permeates the entire material universe I don't really get into drama. That's your problem. And this gets me to my point:

You love pretending I'm not out here. Politically, historically, and culturally... you Americans spend your lives playing an elaborate game of make-believe. Everything from vampire romance to Second Life to the lobbyist industry to creation theory to the unbelievable stories you tell your kids about the people who formed your nation. You're so rich and so spoiled you think even I have to do whatever you say.

Your pundits are great at this: Because of cable and the Internet, they no longer tell you the news. What they do is sell you a product, and that product is a convincing story to make your own personal truth justifiable. Whether you want to believe that 9/11 was an inside job or that Obama's a Kenyan socialist, or climate change is not happening... you can find someone selling it somewhere. But every once in awhile I step in. And that's a great thing. It's an opportunity. Don't miss it, okay?

Many of the people who want Obama to win are predicting that he will win. The people who want him to lose are predicting that he will lose. Nate Silver's blog says Obama has an 86% chance of winning, and that he will probably carry Ohio and Virginia, but not Florida. Over at the National Review, Michael Barone predicts it's going to be a blowout for Romney - 315 to 223. George Will predicts that Romney will win with 321 electoral votes, and that Minnesota will be in his column. Hugh Hewitt actually writes that the Obama team is aware of its pending defeat, and that they are desperately hoping for some kind of miracle.

Paul Bibeau, the guy writing this particular blog wants to remind you that many of these people tried to convince you Sarah Palin was a serious candidate, and that George W. Bush deserved a second term, and that there were weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. My message is simpler: There will be a score soon. A real score. A judgement from me on which commentators are good at math, and which ones are good at deluding themselves. All I want you to do then... is to pay attention.

It will be an important piece of verifiable information, and a chance to change your thinking about a complicated world. Most of you will ignore me. But not everyone. That small group of people, unafraid of rethinking, of being wrong, of struggling to figure out what the truth is... your whole country depends on them. Wednesday will be their day.

You better hope it's Wednesday, anyway. I'm not telling.
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