Aziz Ansari’s Unfortunately Necessary Pander - I’m a bit of a fan of Aziz Ansari. He plays, Darryl, the young nerd on Bob’s Burgers. (Yes, Bob’s Burgers is such a great show that it features two nerds...
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
A Message To The Tea Party From A Guy Who Urinated On A Power Line
You guys are going to play at brinkmanship during the next few fiscal crises. The debt ceiling will come up soon, and after that there will be something else. People will push you to show the president that you're willing to go "all the way," whatever that means. For me it means some really painful skin grafts. For you, it's going to mean a political whipping.
Because after you become the guy who burned his genitals peeing on a high-voltage wire... you spend a life widely known as the guy who burned his genitals peeing on a high-voltage wire. And believe me, they'll know. If you force the country into some kind of economic death spin, the president will try to put all the blame on you people. Is that completely fair? Maybe, maybe not. The point is, he'll be out there making speeches and looking serious, and you'll be out there with 80 year-old freaks dressed like Paul Revere, waving automatic rifles and yammering about the gold standard. Folks will figure out who was the grownup and who was the crazy son of a bitch who needs to lose the next three election cycles.
You follow me on this? It's important. Because you my friend, are about to charbroil more than your own testicles.
You're going to charbroil the testicles of an entire nation.