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Tuesday, February 12, 2013
10 Ways The New Pope Will Be Like Marco Rubio
1. He will represent a large, ancient, impersonal organization.
2. Many will be praise him for not being almost dead.
3. He will speak, and we will talk about how he spoke.
4. Someone, somewhere will use him as evidence of a struggle within the impersonal organization.
5. He will be someone who has wanted a high office in the organization for decades.
6. He will attempt to reach out to people merely by talking about them, as if by magic.
7. He will criticize the organization in the most inoffensive way possible. People will make much of that.
8. Here's where I mention his connection to the Spanish-speaking world, but I want to focus on what's certain to be true, so... he will in no real way represent the Spanish-speaking world.
9. He will spend his career defending the indefensible.
10. He will be a charming way of changing the subject.