This is the part where I'd mock the pope to express my outrage about the Vatican's policies. Maybe I'd write the piece as if I were Jesus or Moses or something - I don't know. I tell you, I'm really trying to muster up a reaction to the new guy, and I just can't do it.
I don't care. Not even enough to make a stupid joke about it.
I dug up his Wikipedia page and found all his paint-by-numbers beliefs about the evil of same-sex marriage and abortion. Also he opposes contraception, and God, I'm boring the crap out of myself just listing this stuff! And there's some scandal from the 70s and - screw it. I'm not mentioning it. It doesn't matter at all, not even one little bit. Getting angry about this pope is just as stupid and hopeless as getting excited about him. The only proper response to the pope from anyone who wants to call himself an adult is complete indifference.
He's an old, cranky conservative man picked by old cranky conservative men who were themselves picked by old cranky conservative men, and so on, back to the time of the Roman Empire. He will continue to say gay people are evil and women shouldn't be trusted with leadership. He will work to make life terrible for the poorest on the planet, and there will be all the disturbing revelations you expect, and he will say and do all the awful things you expect as well. As he arrives, we will talk about where he's from and compare him to others, and when he departs, we will talk about how, and also compare him to others. And then the Church will pick another, exactly like him.
The people who support the institution will continue no matter what horrifying thing he or his associates do. The people who don't have long since tuned him out.
Of course, the Church uses this lack of concern. Counts on it in fact. Years past, in cases when it couldn't rely on its power to inspire or to convince, the Church used fear to keep people in line. Today, indifference has taken the place of that fear. People stop opposing the Vatican, because they just leave. They shrug. They show up on Easter or Christmas if at all. Why bother with a fight you're never going to win?
I've got other things to do, and the bastards will be with us forever. Amen.