Friday, April 12, 2013

A Gun Control Message From Rand Paul's Beautiful, Lustrous Hair

Hey. I just wanted to make something clear: I'm not the one voting for all these crazy things, okay? I'm attached to Sen. Paul, but we don't always agree politically. Two senators with A ratings from the NRA come up with a background check law that makes it illegal to create any kind of registry so Obama can swipe your rifle from you in the dead of night. It passes the first hurdle with a 68/31 win. And one of the few holdouts is the dude who lives just downstairs. Believe me, I'm as shocked as any of you.

Guys, this is not my fault. I'm one scoop of Silver Fox and two scoops of Little Orphan Annie. I am fun and frisky. And there's nothing fun and frisky about political extremism.

We can debate the merits of individual gun control measures, but the idea of expanding background checks in the wake of Newtown is just good common sense. I'm mostly mindless filaments of protein, and even I know that. If you use this bill to create a list of guns so you can confiscate them, you get 15 years in prison. How could anyone still think this is a secret government plot?

I'm obviously aligned with Paul on a number of issues - we both hate humidity and anything by Axe. But he's just catering to the conspiracy nutjobs on this one. I disagree, and I wanted to say this publicly. I've got my own fanbase to worry about. (And yes ladies, I'm pro-choice too.)

I'm a people pleaser! I do everything I can to be friendly and appealing - from the first morning blow-dry and moisturizing until I get carefully wrapped in a shower cap so I won't lose body at night.

I can't help it if I'm growing out of a big pile of crazy.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Related Posts with Thumbnails