Saturday, April 6, 2013

"I'm Your Basic Small-Government, Obama-Is-The-Antichrist Conservative"

I've always believed "that government is best, which governs least." The state should punish fraud, keep us secure, and get out of our way. It's why I vote for conservative candidates. That, and the fact that Barack Obama is the Beast arising from the sea foretold by the prophet John, who will persecute the faithful during the coming tribulation. It's just good common sense.

My liberal friends want the US Treasury to provide a social safety net - to care for the sick and the poor. This is well-meaning of course, but naïve. Federal programs punish work and contribute to a cycle of poverty. Plus, they give the president power to make everyone receive the mark of blasphemy so they can join him in the fiery pit at the end of days. Unintended consequences, people.

Markets are the most efficient and ultimately most humane way to distribute goods and services. They allow for freedom of choice and they maximize growth. Everything else is straight from the mouth of the False Prophet. And it's socialism.

Overregulation kills private industry, which depresses employment, and it shrinks the wealth of our country. This hurts everyone. Some people think the state is the only actor in the system that can guarantee you won't be harmed by the products you buy. President Obama seems to agree, but he also wants to use his office to seize the throne of Jerusalem and crown himself Messiah in a dreadful parody of our Lord. And that wouldn't be right. Companies have a powerful incentive to provide value, and they won't have you tortured and killed for being a Christian. Let them do their business! We'll all benefit.

I believe hard work and free enterprise made this country great. We shouldn't let the government interfere with that, especially since it wants to confiscate our guns and plunge us into a nightmare world of totalitarianism and despair, before the return of Jesus and the triumph of those who are washed in the Blood of the Lamb. These are the kind of sensible ordinary principles that founded America.

And you know I'm not the only one who thinks this way.

11 comments:

  1. Wow! Faith-based tourette syndrome? Or just plain gibberish from a crazed serial killer?

    Either way...

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  2. That would be dead funny, except for the fact that there are a lot of people who do indeed think that way. You can't parody the insane.

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  3. Capital (no pun intended) post! A keeper to archive.

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  4. I can see this as an article in The Onion. And then I can see it being one of the ones that gets picked up and passed around as if it were real.

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    1. God bless you for saying so. I love it when the satire is so dry, you really start asking yourself what's going on. It's a wonderful place, and I try to bring my readers there.

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  5. "My liberal friends want the US Treasury to provide a social safety net - to care for the sick and the poor. This is well-meaning of course, but naïve. Federal programs punish work and contribute to a cycle of poverty. Plus, they give the president power to make everyone receive the mark of blasphemy so they can join him in the fiery pit at the end of days. Unintended consequences, people."

    Okay; Assuming that you're not a "Poe", I have a question for you: Will you refuse your Social Security benefits when you retire? I mean, If you accept those checks from Social Security you'll be as much as accepting The Mark of The Devil -- and you'll be a hypocrite on top of that!

    "Markets are the most efficient and ultimately most humane way to distribute goods and services. They allow for freedom of choice and they maximize growth. Everything else is straight from the mouth of the False Prophet. And it's socialism.

    "Overregulation kills private industry, which depresses employment, and it shrinks the wealth of our country. This hurts everyone. Some people think the state is the only actor in the system that can guarantee you won't be harmed by the products you buy."

    Then you won't complain if the food that you eat or the water that you drink or the medicine that you take makes you sick -- or even kills you? Remember, "The Market" isn't exactly pro-active when it comes to the safety of the consumer. Sure, you (or your survivors) might be able to sue the company that sold you that e. coli tainted hamburger or the company that bought the local water treatment facility when your city decided to privatize it's infrustructure (and decided to shortcut it's sanitation procedures to save money) after you drank that cholera- or cryptosporidium- (among many other waterborne diseases) tainted water or injected that fungus-tainted steroid directly into your spine, but that would mean having to bring the Government (i.e.the Court system) into it and...well...that would be Socialism, wouldn't it?

    "President Obama seems to agree, but he also wants to use his office to seize the throne of Jerusalem and crown himself Messiah in a dreadful parody of our Lord. And that wouldn't be right. Companies have a powerful incentive to provide value, and they won't have you tortured and killed for being a Christian. Let them do their business! We'll all benefit."

    Then you won't object when they *do* foreclose on your mortgage -- even though you're up to date on your payments -- because it "provide(s) value"? (At least on *their* balance sheet.) After all, better to be homeless and alive than to bow to a false messiah. We'll *all* benefit! (Some of us more than others...)

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    1. Okay; having read a few of your posts, I can now see that this *is* a "Poe". I apologize if I came on a bit strong, but I've been hearing a lot of political stupidity over the past few weeks (a lot of it on subjects directly affecting me) and apparently my irony meter has been strained to the breaking point. That said, I still stand by the positions laid out above.

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    2. No worries! I had to look up what Poe meant, which is kind of funny to me.

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  6. Your "Overregulation" paragraph is simply stunning. Impressive rhetorical skill, sir!

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    1. Thanks. I almost sprained something.

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