We need to send a powerful message to Barack Obama and his globalist allies in the UN - Leave our bacon alone. Since he was elected after disparaging people in the heartland who cling to their guns and their religion, Obama has made it clear that he will simply not respect the rights of Christian Americans.
And what do those Christian Americans want more than anything else? It should be clear to you, because it's damn sure clear to our enemies. Christianity, from the very beginning, was focused like a laser on taking the Mosaic covenant and updating it to include sweet, sweet crackling pork fat. After the gay rights crowd finishes destroying the idea of marriage that we've gotten from the parts of the Bible we agree with, they're going to come after us by saying that we're hypocrites about the dietary laws. Haven't you already seen this? Open your eyes, people!
And the United Nations is already implementing its stealth program to impose totalitarian - yes, totalitarian - controls on our citizens with its sustainable growth program, Agenda 21. Republicans in states like Missouri and Oklahoma are banning it, and the Tea Party movement has mobilized against this, but you need to join the fight. Because even though the plan is a completely non-binding list of environmental goals from a largely incompetent organization... it's clear this is about establishing a one world government in the near future.
Plus, the guns. They are going to register your guns, so that they can take them away leaving you unable to defend yourselves. And with Obama's plan to destabilize the nation's economy, you won't have enough money to feed your own family - so you'll have to rely on government subsidies.
A plan to control agriculture and industry. A plan to take our weapons away. A plan to decide what we're going to eat. And a growing demonization of the Christian approach to hand-picking which Biblical commandments we're going to follow.
Don't you see? Doesn't it all make sense? This is all about the bacon, people.
That's as good a theory as any of the other ones out there. It involves the people we hate threatening the things we love. And we feel it's true, don't we? That's all it takes. Notify Alex Jones and Red State and your top thousand Facebook friends. They want our delicious freedoms.
We must stand up and tell them... from my cold, dead, greasy hands.