Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Why Michele Bachmann's Goodbye Speech Sounds Like A Pharmaceutical Commercial

You can sense it almost immediately, can't you? About half a minute into the speech, there's that disconnect familiar to any one who's sat through a commercial for antidepressants or allergy medicine or somesuch. The soaring music and the confident tone simply don't match any of the words, because lawyers cobbled all those together. assured, this decision was not impacted in any way by the recent inquiries into the activities of my former presidential campaign or my former presidential staff...

DUM! Duh, duh, da, DUMMMM!

Emotional piano. Shot of cheery, ruddy-cheeked old people pushing their granddaughter in a swing. Healthy. No one looks like they're going to code out if they try to tackle a flight of stairs.

Libercor is not for everyone. May cause shingles, dry mouth, rash, cold sweats, and night terrors. See your doctor if you develop persistent bleeding, as this may indicate a fatal condition...

Your brain doesn't wrap around everything the lawyers are saying. That's the point. The best you can manage is to realize dimly that Jesus, these guys have a lot of explaining to do. All this technical stuff is taking a long time, and those happy, corporate power chords are carrying an awful weight.

This is the perfect way for Michele Bachmann to end her Congressional career. She spent years trying to hide all that dark nonsense in the background behind a similar kind of feel-good theme.

I will continue to do everything that I can to advance our conservative Constitutional principles that have served as the bedrock for who we are as a nation.

Da.... DUMMM! A little boy stands with his granddad, and they salute the flag.

Warning: May cause homophobia, anti-Muslim bigotry, or loss of your science curriculum.

But the revelation comes at 3:37 of this interminable thing. That's when Bachmann brags about what she's actually accomplished. People of all political persuasions need to pay attention to her list. She mentions a bridge and a regional airport in her district. She also sponsored one of the bills Congress has hatched to try to defeat Obamacare. And she went to Maggie Thatcher's funeral. That's it. Everything else she lists is vague or purely rhetorical. She gave a speech for this. She called on the president to do that. But nothing real.

After all those ignorant ideas masked by all that muzak - and other than the Democrat-grade pork she took home - what did Michele Bachmann actually deliver? And do any of her fans even notice what she's admitting?

1 comment:

  1. She wonders whether our founders would recognize our nation (well duh? No they wouldn't But not because of Obama's administration the changes they wouldn't recognize happened probably around the antebellum era. I wonder if Abe Lincoln would recognize his party and their platforms? I noticed her concerns of a dangerous nuclear threat completely ignored the Far East and the DPRK who has the actual proven nuclear weapons and made deliberate attempts to develop inter-ballistic missile capability to do as they promise strike out at us capitalist pigs.

    But yeah you nailed it! It's a pharmaceutical commercial ....


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