Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Can We Just Pretend We Already Invaded Syria?

Right now Syria is a human rights disaster. The country is filled with the most appalling violence, which is spilling over its borders and destabilizing the region. The Syrian government is brutal, corrupt, embattled, and it's filled with people who hate Americans. A patchwork of jihadist groups have taken advantage of the chaos to do terrible things to their fellow citizens... and obtain the kind of training which would make them a threat to the entire world.

So basically, it already looks exactly like it would after a US attempt at nation-building.

Our work's been done for us, guys! Can we just skip to the part where we go home?

No one's saying the president can't lie to Congress about it, or we can't have politicians acting feckless and ignorant. Look, POTUS can give a few speeches about freedom, and maybe get a resolution passed on cruddy intelligence. We'll do all of that, if you people want. We could even have some subcommittee meetings, and get everyone to yell at each other. Really - I mean it. Go nuts.

You want a parade for the thing? You want a couple movies, maybe give a general some job as a CNN analyst? I am totally down with all of that.

Let's do everything - I mean, everything - to pretend we absolutely shipped thousands of our finest, bravest 20 year-olds into some country we know nothing about and got them killed for reasons no honest person will be able to explain in a year. But the only part I want to leave out is the part where we end all their lives. Can we just please, for once in this stupid nation's history, leave that part out?

Everything will be exactly the same with Syria. Promise. We've been here before.

The only difference is our people get to stay home, pretend they went to a war, and live. Won't that be great? Won't that be worth it?

And if you don't think so, what is wrong with you?


  1. Ah but Beebs, Uncle Sam needs his military industrial complex smack...Eisenhower tried to warn us to get off that stuff before we got too hooked... way too late to be contemplating the negative effects of MIC. You speak as our government or even better our military functions on the principles of reason and rational thought... Who needs to put down the pipe, NOW?
    Besides we are right on the verge of breaking out of this pesky recession that keeps fooling the economists, housing bubble scmubble... nothing motivates our economy to start cranking out the productivity more than preparing for another crusade... the Holy Roman empire had how many before they called it quits and started to focus on the enlightenment? I'd say we are still a few crusades and several citizen IQ points short before that historical cycle has been played out.

    Death to the heretics...infidels... wait what are fighting against again?

  2. And I think you’ll find that the idea of some on the Right of US politics is to have the current administration mired in something so problematic that it can be blamed for whatever happens.

    They want the platform to say ‘Obama is failing the troops’, endlessly. That and there’s surely a buck to be made in it for someone somewhere. Then later they’d rewrite things to say they never wanted to go in to Syria in the first place.

    1. Good point. I've spent weeks on the blog criticizing the president from the left. But it's not like I've forgotten the foreign policy of the last guy.


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