Monday, August 5, 2013

A Message From The President About Tomorrow's Terrorist Attack

My fellow Americans:

As you probably know, intelligence indicates the high probability of a mass-casualty terrorist attack on the US homeland tomorrow morning. Your government is working tirelessly to mitigate loss of life. While we can't share the location of the event with you, rest assured we have gathered a great deal of useful information.

In addition, we are almost certain about the identity of the militants behind this attack. Unfortunately, they are members of a Classified Terrorist Organization we are currently fighting, whose identity must be withheld, because it is an enemy combatant in an ongoing US intervention, whose nature, purpose, and force composition have been declared state secrets.

I wish I could tell you more. I really do.

Here's what I can reveal:

At approximately 10:05 AM tomorrow morning, following the initial strike by these criminals, I will declare a state of emergency throughout the affected metro-area, followed by a security assessment of the surrounding region. We will support all fire and safety personnel in their heroic task. By early afternoon, I will have issued a statement and taken appropriate steps to retaliate and insure domestic security. Both houses of Congress have already passed a classified resolution authorizing these measures, and the Supreme Branch of the Foreign Intelligence and Surveillance Court has affirmed it on a provisional basis.

You may be asked to stay indoors and avoid communicating by phone or internet for several days. A week at most. It's for your safety.

Naturally, our thoughts are with tomorrow's victims, and with the brave members of our military and security forces, who do a difficult and dangerous job -- more difficult and dangerous than many of you realize.

You do know this, however:

In secret locations all over the world, they are defending our liberty.

1 comment:

  1. “We also wish to state that we have assured our friends in Russia that Mr Snowden will not be tortured or executed if he is returned to us, because obviously… as an enlightened democracy we need to tell foreign powers things like that, and it doesn’t just go without saying. Try as we might, it may not be self-evident from what we symbolize across the world, and from the values we uphold and the freedoms we cherish. This is America and that is meant to mean something. And although we once held this to be self-evident, the challenges we face in protecting our property globally require us to reiterate just what it is our great nation stands for. My fellow Americans, our thoughts are with you and our eyes are upon you. May God help you, and good night.”

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