Thursday, September 5, 2013

A Message From Those You're Going To Kill To Make Yourselves Feel Better About Those Who've Already Been Killed

Hey. How are you guys?

No, really. How are you doing, honestly?

We're about to get incinerated... and well, we just want to make sure that at least it worked. All better now?

Those pictures were terrible, weren't they? Ugh. No one likes it when innocent civilians get killed. I mean, some of us are innocent civilians, so we should know. But you see photos like that coming out of some foreign country, and you think, dammit we have to do something. And the fact that there are no good options - the fact that your own president stomped his foot and made threats to ensure this would never happen - that just makes you more and more frustrated and sad. Until you sign on to something, anything that seems like it might make a difference.

Which brings us here. To this street. With all the dust and the sirens, it's hard to figure out what happened. But it can't be good.

Just to be clear, you knew those missiles weren't going to bring anyone back, yes? That you guys didn't have some kind of time machine technology built into them - that you weren't going to blow up the bad guys right before they used the chemical weapons, and save all those kids? You knew it would only make more of them, didn't you?

It's okay. Believe us, it's fine. We no longer care. We're not going to care about anything ever again.

Your troubles, of course, are just beginning.

You know that, right?

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