Saturday, October 26, 2013

"Get The Government Off Your Back!" By A Hideous Multinational Corporation

Ordinary Americans, people like you, are fed up. Those busybodies in Washington are trying to take your freedoms away, and you're no longer going to stand for it. Government is getting too big and too intrusive -- Can we agree on this? I mean, they want to change your healthcare, take your firearms, and stop you from calling the staff at your plant a religious order for tax purposes. We're going to change that. Together.

You don't want anymore Beltway meddling, do you? Having some liberal academic in the White House tell you what to do, and whether you can use asbestos filler in toys, goes against the spirit of independence that made our country great. We are part of a movement that's going to put a stop to this kind of anti-American nonsense.

Shouldn't it be a country of free enterprise and limited government again? Shouldn't we be in charge of our own lives? I don't want the first lady telling me I shouldn't eat a burger, or one of her husband's agencies saying I can't produce pediatric medicine with nicotine. Write a letter and tell your Congressmen that the era of fat-cat politics and fancy-pants health and safety codes is over!

This government - along with the mainstream media - doesn't share our values. It's filled with eggheads worrying about crazy things like extreme income inequality and regulating whether a guy can give his granddad a shotgun or cause a global financial correction with some high-risk debt he got from a friend. It's no longer the kind of place that let's people pray in school, fight for traditional marriage, and hire a seven year-old who has gumption. But don't despair. A wave of people came to the Capitol to shake things up. Together, we'll stop the liberal agenda and bring this country back to the way it was.

Just you wait.


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. Yes siree! No more guberment! And while we’re at it given’em what fer let’s tell’em we don’t need ANYTHING from the guberment.

    I for one don’t need to pay the guberment taxes for a bunch o’ fancy outfitted fire firefighters in whirlin’ twirlin’ lighted-up fire trucks when I can damn well use my own garden hose if my house is afire. Besides, if my house is gonna burn, it’s gonna burn anyway.

    I for one don’t need to pay the guberment taxes for a bunch of donut eatin’ police when I can settle my own scores and protect my own life an’ property with my own shootin’ irons. Besides, if I’m gonna get robbed or shot dead, I’m gonna get robbed or shot dead anyway.

    I for one don’t need to pay the guberment taxes for a bunch o’ teachers that don’t no nothin’ anyhow. I can educate my own kids better’n them over-paid, so-called educated teachers any day o’ the week. Besides, if my kid’s stoopid he’s not gonna larn anything anway.

    I for one don’t need to pay the guberment taxes for no over-the-top expensive and fancy military fightin’ wars in some country that ain’t our own. We Americans can stand our own ground right here in America with our own second amendment shootin’ bare arms if them commie bastards or bat shit crazy muselmens comes after us. Besides, even if they do end up landin’ on our soil, no one’s commin’ up my hill, I can tell you that!

    And I for one don’t need to pay the guberment taxes for some kind of affordable health care. I can do my own affordin’ doin’ my own birthin’ and such at home just like the way when I was born without any docters around. And I can be sewed up bettern’ any ol’ docter by my ol’ granny just like the time I split six inches o’ skin on my leg choppin’ wood one day. Besides, if yer gonna loose a leg, yer gonna loose a leg. And when yer time’s up and the good Lord calls you home, yer time’s up anyway.

    Nuf said!


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