Monday, October 6, 2014

Talk To Your Loved Ones About My Book

"Hi mom. It's me. Hey, you know how you just went back and re-read The Best Of Me, and you were saying it didn't have enough annotations and nihilism? Well I think I found something for you. It's called The Black Book Of Children's Bible Stories, and it's free this Wednesday and Thursday."

"Aunt Jo! Thanks again for the cupcakes. My roommate and I loved the M&M's. You're always so thoughtful. I wanted to do something for you. Follow this link and get a free book that's really going to fuck you right up."

"Dad, I know everything's tough lately. You try and try, but no one cuts you a break at that stupid job. Well, I recently found something that changed how I look at the world. It's called The Black Book Of Children's Bible Stories, it's an experimental horror story about Scripture, and its ultimate point is that all human attempts to construct meaning are doomed, and that we're alone, we have no way of figuring out what's happening to us, and we're going to die and be forgotten forever. So screw the job, really. They're lucky you haven't poisoned them all."

"Hello? Sure you can come in and tell me something about your church. I'd love that! Tell you what, though. Before you start I want to read you something first..."

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