Friday, October 3, 2014

"Welcome Back To The Shadows, America," By Dick Cheney

Hello, old friends. Nice to see you again. I think it's time we had a chat. We're going to be here together for a while.

I'm not sure you understood me when I first said America would need to spend some time in the shadows. It was just after 9/11, and people weren't thinking clearly. Fear will do that to you, won't it? You start seeing monsters everywhere, and you freeze up. You look for someone, anyone to make the terror go away. You probably thought I was talking about sending spies and special operators into the dark corners of the world to do all the brutal things we'd need to do. Yes, that was part of it. But I was also talking about you. You're here in a kind of moral twilight with them. With me.

Just yesterday CNN reported that we're relaxing the rules about killing civilians during our air war against ISIS. The locals have already reported noncombatant casualties, but the US government hasn't confirmed it. You don't know every detail. So when you give your president a bump in the polls for prosecuting this war, you don't really have to think about whether we're going to end the lives of innocent people - a growing number as the situation spirals out of control, which it will, because it always does, and you know that too, and also don't know it. The deaths that you cause will be numbers. Footnotes. Sentence fragments buried deep into news reports you'll barely skim. You won't have to see a tiny shoe beneath some rubble and know that it's all that remains of someone's child. This war has gone on for more than a decade, and you've never had to know those kinds of things.

You agree to it all, as long as we agree to punish anyone who tells you what's happening. You'll let the government have the authority it wants, but it must lie. Because if it lies to you then you're not the ones who are really monsters. No. The shadows - the moral twilight - they hide you from yourself. And it depends on people like me. 

It makes me happy just to think about it. It makes me feel needed.

You really did love me all this time.

Didn't you?

The dead you love are in a kind of Schrodinger's experiment... spiraling out of control, the box closed forever and the ones inside neither really here nor ever gone.

"She's watching over us." 
"He's so proud." 
"They'll always be with you. I can feel it. I can tell."

Keep it shut long enough, and they'll follow you down every street. Keep it shut long enough, and they'll never be far away.
This is what it means to live in two worlds. To pray. To hope for something better. 

THE BLACK BOOK OF CHILDREN'S BIBLE STORIES is about faith and loss, and a haunted house hidden so well you didn't notice you'd been living there your whole life. GET IT FREE ON OCT 8 AND OCT 9.


  1. We create the monsters that force us to become monsters to fight our own creations. It makes me ashamed, because our immoral behavior of choice creates the situation that leaves us without a choice but to be even more immoral. So no, I don't feel comfort in ignorance, I force myself to watch the videos of our forces slaughtering journalists without being held accountable for their war crimes. I celebrate as heroes the whistleblowers you call traitors. I force myself to look at the pictures and listen to and read first-hand reports of the atrocities we commit under the facade of fighting atrocities and bringing democracy to a region where we give full support to dictators, as long as those dictators dictate in our favor. It makes me sick. It makes me ashamed. It makes me teach my grandchildren that they live in a nation that abandoned any notion of taking the high road. And you, Mr. Dick Cheney, if this evil puff piece was even really written by you, well, I look forward to reading your obituary the way my grandchildren look forward to watching the Wicked Witch melt away in the Wizard of Oz. The world will be a better place when you, and those like you, do us all the favor of leaving it for you resting places in Hell.

  2. One other comment regarding your obituary, Mr. Cheney. I look forward to it casually, knowing it will come in due time, thinking about it only when you remind me, not wasting the energy to wish for it, because I want it to be a pleasant and unexpected surprise to brighten my day when it appears. I imagine that when I read it I'll be able to walk outside, look into the sky, and see a rainbow where none should be, so pleased will this planet be that you are no longer a resident. And I imagine that the worms, bacteria and fungi that return most of us back to nature will shun you, leaving your corpse unrotted as a monument to the evil you and your ilk brought to this world.


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