Wednesday, February 25, 2015

D&D Stats of the 2016 GOP Contenders - Rick Perry

CLIMATE/TERRAIN: Any land
FREQUENCY: Common
ORGANIZATION: Solitary
ACTIVITY CYCLE: Day
DIET: Carnivore
INTELLIGENCE: Animal (1)
TREASURE: H
ALIGNMENT: CN
NO. APPEARING: 1
ARMOR CLASS: 7
MOVEMENT: 12
HIT DICE: 2
THAC0: 10
NO. OF ATTACKS: 3
DAMAGE/ATTACK: 1d8/1d8/2d6 (punch/punch/headbutt)
SPECIAL ATTACKS: See below
SPECIAL DEFENSES: See below
MAGIC RESISTANCE: Nil
SIZE: M
MORALE: Fearless (19-20)
XP VALUE: 250

Rick Perry is a former governor of Texas who ran in the 2012 GOP presidential primary, losing and endorsing Mitt Romney after doing poorly in debates. He has a limited understanding of Common.

Combat: Perry is a ferocious fighter with little subtlety or concern for strategy, attacking the biggest, strongest-looking member of a party immediately and delivering a 3-blow combination attack. In the second or third round of a fight he begins to babble almost incoherently, repeating the word "Gumption" at random, which functions as a Confusion Spell cast by a 4th level Wizard. At will, he can cause his pores to seep a pungent liquid which transforms his hide into a tough padded leather, giving him a darker more weathered complexion and a +3 bonus to Armor Class. The effect lasts 1 turn.


NOTE: This is part of a series. Check it out at GOP Monster Manual.

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3 comments:

  1. Is this limited to politicians, or are you going to do assholes like Sheldon Adelson and David Brooks?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for reading and commenting! My plan is to nail every major potential 2016 candidate. Then I am going to branch out. How can you not make a sheet for Dick Cheney? I didn't think about those other guys, but you're right.

      Delete
  2. Great. I'm sharing them all on fb.
    Keep them coming!

    ReplyDelete

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