Sunday, March 1, 2015

Fox News Studio Wandering Monster Table

One Level Below Ground
Die Roll
1 Kobolds (3-12)
2 Goblins (2-8)
3 Hobgoblins (2-5)
4 Steve Doocy
5 Berserkers (1-4)
6 Brian Kilmeade
7 Gelatinous Cube (1)
8 Racists (2-5)
9 Angry Racists (1-12)
10 Stirges (1-2)
11 Bandits
12 Skeletons/Ann Coulter (1-6/1)

Two Levels Below Ground
Die Roll
1 Ogres (1-6)
2 Thieves/Footpads (2-5/1-2)
3 Ghouls (1-4)
4 Lawyers/Lobbyists (1-8/2-5)
5 Carrion Crawler (1)
6 Karl Rove (1)
7 Ettercaps (1-4)
8 Giant Ticks (1-2)
9 Orcs/Interns (5-20/5-20)
10 Drow Elves (3-18)
11 Racists who say they're not racists, they just believe in old-fashioned values (1-4)
12 Ochre Jelly (1)

Three Levels Below Ground
Die Roll
1 Wererats (1-10)
2 Bugbears (2-8)
3 Bill O'Reilly, naked, chasing a terrified hooker with a chainsaw (1)
4 Dopplegangers (1-4)
5 Gretchen Carlson, trying to tunnel her way to freedom
6 Wights (1-3)
7 Displacer Beasts (1-2)
8 Rupert Murdoch's animated skinsuit (1)
9 Umber Hulk/Sean Hannity (1/1)
10 Harpies (1-3)
11 Tour group of racists (1-10)
12 Balor/Dick Cheney getting into makeup (1/1)

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1 comment:

  1. Orcs/Interns (5-20/5-20)

    5d4? I knew Fox News was evil, but I never knew quite how much.

    ReplyDelete

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