Trumpcare. Good Enough For You, But Not For Congress - [image: Trumpcare. Good Enough For You, But Not For Congress] Trump has been having a hissy fit for the past two weeks over the fact that Trumpcare didn't ...
Tuesday, July 28, 2015
"If You Want, I'll Shoot Someone On Live TV" By Ted Cruz
Believe me, we are on the same page about leadership.
And that's why I'd like to point out that I, Ted Cruz, am perfectly willing to shoot a person for you on live TV.
How's that grab you? You gotta admit, it's pretty interesting, right? Well, I'm serious. Maybe we can work something out involving a death row inmate, or an undocumented worker - I'd even give him a head start to make it interesting. Perhaps I could just go to a place that doesn't have an extradition treaty, pop a guy a couple times in the head Scarface-style, and put it right on the Youtube.
What I'm saying is I understand you voters out there in primary-land. You don't want some elitist Washington politician who's going to jaw you into a stupor with crap about capital gains. You want a man who understands your values. Including how much you'd value the opportunity to watch some serious firearm homicide while you dig into your chicken buckets. I am aware of this. And I'm going to do whatever it takes to win the GOP nomination, no matter how immoral or batcrap it is.
Because that's the real test, isn't it? The willingness to just go to a place the other guy won't. Oh brother, I am already packing my bags to get there.
Say the word, and I will earn the right to be your candidate by replaying a scene I like to call "Dealey Plaza 2" starring an unsuspecting victim as Jack Kennedy and me as a huskier version of Lee Oswald. I will make this as ugly as you need, America. Believe it.
Now if you'll excuse me I've got a prayer breakfast in the morning.
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