Tuesday, August 4, 2015

"Twitter Fight" - From The Classy Poems Of Donald Trump

It's me again. I have more poems. They're not just classy. They show that I've got heart and soul as well as major success in the world. I hope you can appreciate them.

Twitter Fight
by Donald Trump

Some guy on Twitter argues with me.
He's a loser; he's got nothing to say!
But I can't convince him he's wrong,
And he won't go away.

I'm trying to help this man
Know that he's a fool.
I'm trying to reach this man,
So he can be better, be stronger,
Be a success -
A success story, like the story of America,
Or like one of those Michael Bay films.

Wouldn't you be grateful if someone cared enough,
Was strong enough,
Compassionate enough,
To tell you what a jackass you were?
Especially if it was a man,
With better things to do, someone worth billions?
With his own board game?

Wouldn't you want to know,
If that were you?
Wouldn't you want to grow,
If that were you?
Still I can't convince him,
And he won't go away.

When evening comes, after a long day
Of talking about Mexico and making deals on one of my yachts,
Or in my limo - or even in one of those conference rooms where everything is shiny,
And they're doing so well, they don't even bill you for the diet soda you drink...
Sometimes I sit at my desk, and I read the tweets of my enemy,
My sad, sad enemy.
He doesn't know how much he needs me,
And I think about a whole nation of guys like that.

Even though they don't deserve it (because they're assholes),
When I become president,
I'm going to help them all.
It'll be just like an eight-year long Twitter fight with me, America.
And at the end -
I vow this -
You'll be a country with major quality again.

(Photo by Michael Vadon. Rights information here.)

THE BLACK BOOK OF CHILDREN'S BIBLE STORIES is about faith and loss, and a haunted house hidden so well you didn't notice you'd been living there your whole life. BUY IT HERE.


  1. Donald Trump
    Gives some folk the hump.
    He believes in the Great American Way
    (But not if you're female, black, Hispanic or gay.)


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