Friday, October 9, 2015

10 Questions About How Kevin McCarthy Said The GOP Might Have To Hit "Rock Bottom"

According to an article in Think Progress"House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) told the National Review that the House Republican conference may 'have to hit rock bottom' before the chamber fully functions again."

For those of us who've been following the GOP this prompts questions:

1. Wait, the GOP hasn't already hit rock bottom yet? Are you serious?
2. What would "rock bottom" look like for the GOP? What would that involve?
3. Would the country survive this bottom-hitting intact, or would it be incinerated or enter a kind of Handmaid's Tale/Hunger Games dystopian mashup?
4. So, really... the GOP - the Republican Party - has not actually hit rock bottom? Even though Donald Trump is the frontrunner? They actually have farther down to go?
5. Would hitting rock bottom smash the GOP into a thousand little pieces, and will those pieces all post racist memes on Facebook, and can I block them now?
6. Would hitting rock bottom make the GOP into a reformed version of itself, which will then go through a process of evolution and self-discovery, and maybe even - No. Fuck that. That wouldn't happen. [Cancel 6]
7. Is Ted Cruz, as a Republican, hurtling toward this rock bottom? Or is he already down there waiting?
8. Are we even sure rock bottom exists as a real place? Are we sure the GOP can't go on descending indefinitely, since they don't believe in natural science?
9. How rocky are we talking? Jagged rocks, right? They're not cobblestones or skipping pebbles, or anything smooth, are they?
10. How exactly will they blame this on Barack Obama?

3 comments:

  1. Yes: cancel 6. I've come to believe that there is no recovery for the GOP. The Democratic Party has within it a very nice center right party, waiting to split off. But I do think there is no bottom for the Republicans. The only question is when the American people will put an end to it. The Republicans haven't even reached the point of calling for all Mexicans to be rounded up and put in death camps. And I'm sure that wouldn't be their bottom either.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I try to think what the bottom would really, honestly be. I don't know.

      Delete
  2. In Something Awful's political forums, we have a saying: "There is always more and it is always worse." Every time we think we've seen it all, someone finds a way to surprise us.

    ReplyDelete

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