Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Conservatives At The Federalist Are Now Arguing Dogs Don't Go To Their Heaven

As you probably know, The Federalist, which I hate-read regularly is a website for conservatives. Yesterday, I spent some serious time trying to convince their readers that slavery was actually a bad thing. And yes, I went back. I am like a dog returning to its proverbial vomit.

Speaking of dogs and vomit...

A more recent piece at The Federalist is about how Christians shouldn't believe that dogs go to heaven. The author, Dominic Lynch, uses the theology of Thomas Aquinas to make the case that regardless of his sweet temperament and playfulness with your kids, Sparky has nothing but the eternal night of oblivion ahead of him:

Indeed, animals and humans both have souls, but the difference is massive. Human souls, Aquinas says, are “subsistent,” meaning they are eternal, even after bodily death. Aquinas contends that animal souls do not have that eternal property, so when animals die their soul does not carry on.

We're in a weird time in America, people. The frontrunner of the Republican party has picked up endorsements from the white supremacist movement, and he's threatening to close down the religious sites of people he doesn't like. A sizable portion of GOP candidates want to get rid of the 14th Amendment. Their bigotry and paranoia about gay people is known in scary and disgusting detail.

Now they're going after dogs.

Where does it end? It doesn't. I'm convinced of it. There is no bottom. The task ahead of the conservative movement is to explore every permutation of what can be expressed by the word "asshole." And then they'll make up new ones.

I, for one, don't want dogs to have to live in a heaven that contains Republicans. No. Maybe oblivion is better after all.

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  1. Given that conservative Christians don't follow Thomas Aquinas on when the soul enters the fetus, why should they listen to him about dogs? Besides, the history is clear: St Aquinas was more of a cat person.

    But I'm now worried about you. I think we may have to stage an intervention about this Federalist habit you have developed. You know the first step is admitting you have a problem. And think about your kids!

    1. You sent me to the Ensoulment Wikipedia page.

      Also, yes I have a problem.

    2. Substance dualism is a really interesting and potentially wonderful, and terrible, idea that I have no reason to think is true. Like parapsychology.

  2. I want to see "Federalist"-style Republicans share a heaven with dogs, if only to see them try to explain away the dogs. Doing mental gymnastics for the rest of eternity sounds fitting.

  3. They went after dogs? They are TOAST. Everyone knows that you never go after dogs.


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