C&L's Late Nite Music Club With Jamo Thomas - Those spies are tricky. He may have an X-Ray camera but makes no mention of a microwave oven. Though Luther Ingram and the G-Men's version of "I Spy (For...
Monday, November 30, 2015
This GIF Of A College Bro Incinerating His Genitals Is The Story Of America
This terrible and funny GIF of a young man's crotch firework accident contains every important element of the story of the United States of America. I'm serious. We should show this in schools on the last day of history class, right where we get to the Korean War and the teacher runs out of time.
It explains our debacle in Iraq, sure, but also the broader disaster of our imperialist policies all over the world, and how they've allowed us to project power without guaranteeing basic safety for our own people. In addition it gives a succinct and stunningly accurate account of how we became the kind of people who'd see Donald Trump as the solution to the problems in our society. What it shows is the result of the democratic experiment itself, launched on this continent centuries ago. It is the answer to the great test Abraham Lincoln described in the Gettysburg Address, a reply to the deepest critics of our economic and political system. It is, simply put, who we are and why we are here. Consider:
1. It is a man doing this.
2. He is young, of college or military age. He is a "type."
3. He is white, and he is almost certainly middle-class or wealthier. He has what theorists starting with Aristotle would describe as "leisure."
4. He has access to dangerous weapons. He is proud of this. They are obviously his very manhood.
5. The spectacle of fire has lured him to do something stupid.
6. No one is there to stop him. No one. This is a failure in the widest possible sense. It dates to Columbus. It ought to be our national motto. "America: No one was there to stop us."
7. His jackass friends decided to video all this. These are the people whose worst wars have become their greatest films. They are addicts.
8. He's genuinely surprised by the obvious results of his actions. Obvious and predictable. He really didn't see that one coming. This half-second of imbecile shock is what we have for a culture.
And finally, and most importantly...
9. He got hurt badly enough to make it entertaining, but not enough to prevent him from doing this again.
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