Friday, January 22, 2016

A Message To The Bundy Militia From Ted Bundy

Hey, guys. How's everything in Oregon? I loved that place. Such beautiful country. So many nice, secluded places to just... take a walk and clear your head. Anyway, enjoy.

I thought we should talk about clean-cut white people. Admit it: That's really what this is all about. You guys claim you want a return to constitutional government and somesuch, but how many of you even know what that is?

You're not fighting in court with sophisticated arguments about original intent. You're playing Wolverines out in the scrub with your gun club - and that club is whiter than Donny Osmond rolled in flour. Plus, Oath Keepers aren't showing up in Missouri to protect black people from abuse by the police. And you guys weren't going Shays' Rebellion on the feds when a nice fundamentalist Texan was sitting in the Oval. No, you say your problem with the government is that it's gotten too big and too intrusive, but what you're really concerned with is that it's not being controlled by "your kind of people."

You're trying to restore a much older form of government than the one James Madison gave us. It's called tribalism. The Trumpers, preppers, tea partiers, and the militia movement are one big attempt to dissolve the power of the government and replace it with small, heavily-armed groups of people who all seem like they come from the same part of the globe. This is hard-wired into you, this feeling that it's just easier to trust people who look like you. Believe me, I know all about it. It worked out fine for me. Many, many times.

If one of you guys ever came across someone like me on a street, or in a parking lot after dark, you would immediately, instinctively know I was a great guy. And you'd have no problem stopping to give me directions, or maybe even getting into my car so I could drive you home. And when you strip away all those laws and regulations - all the power of our system of government - that's what you're left with... trusting people who have a certain look and act a certain way, because there are no rules anymore. Hell, that's what you're doing right now, isn't it? Just camping out there in the wilderness with some random folks you barely know.

I met a lot of people who did what you're doing. I never told the authorities exactly how many.

Anyway, good luck. Have fun out there.

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