Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Palin Helps Trump Lock Down Racists AND Idiots

The Republican Party is more diverse than ever. Donald Trump knows this, and that's why he got Sarah Palin to endorse him. Any nominee for the GOP will need a coalition of both racists and idiots - and Palin is crucial to locking down that second group.

Don't get me wrong: Trump already has plenty of idiots backing him. But with the current crop of candidates - people who promise to solve our problems in the Mideast by bombing everything and those who spread conspiracy theories about how the pyramids were built - idiots have many options. Jackasses, jabronis, numbskulls, and people who need those warnings about pointing dangerous things away from your face are going to be spread among a half-dozen candidates unless one of them makes a solid play for their vote. Sarah Palin has unbelievable "idiot cred," and getting her endorsement will help Trump get a majority of the party's mouth-breathers, young earth creationists, and those who play with electrical outlets.

It used to be enough to get the racists in line. And Trump certainly has no competition for that. Every mullet-head with back acne and a Hitler picture on his Twitter profile is joining hands with every wheezing 125 year-old who wants to refight the Civil War, and they are determined to put the man in office. But that's the old party - the party of a guy like William F. Buckley. Someone who might have hideous views about segregation, but he'd be pretty damn slick about it. No more. Today's Republican might hate anyone who doesn't look like he belongs on the Andy Griffith Show, but he might also hate anyone who hasn't visited an ER after a food-related accident. And often, today's Republican is both.

It's a big tent, people. And Donald Trump knows exactly what it's full of.

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  1. I would like to thank Mr. Trump for assisting us with getting a good headcount of how many stupid, racist, fascist assholes we have in this country. Hopefully, it's only in the tens of millions.

    1. Exactly. Whatever the number, it will be good to know it. If nothing else, it'll help us figure out when it's time to start working on the technology to hurl the planet into the sun.


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