Tuesday, March 1, 2016

Five Fucking Reasons Why I Voted For Bernie Sanders Today

1. I thought about electability. But in the end, Bernie Sanders will either fucking demonstrate the ability to energize key groups in the Democratic base and fucking win the nomination - in which case he actually will be electable - or he won't, and therefore he won't demonstrate electability, but he also won't be the nominee, so fuck electability. It's like that scene in The Matrix. Which one? All of them. They're all like that. Fuck The Matrix.

2. But what about the sliver of idiots in the middle? Fuck the sliver of idiots in the middle. I'm through with worrying about the least informed members of our society. There's no guarantee those guys won't all be killed in reality show audition video accidents by November. Fuck them and fuck them thoroughly.

3. Yeah, but doesn't that sliver of fucking idiots in the middle count for a couple of percentage points? And aren't they all in places like Florida? True. However, my fucking opinion about that fucking situation is that this fucking election is mostly about get out the vote efforts in the base. The Republicans are actually nominating a fucking white supremacist. I will say that again, with more profanity: The goddamned Republicans, all of them cursed by the angry hand of Jesus H. Christ himself to be foul-smelling, web-footed turdwits, are actually nominating a white fucking supremacist, a man who represents the bad guys in the Civil War, World War II and the Turner Diaries. They're doing this, and the so-called moderates on their side will line up and help them, because those guys have spent their lives excusing and enabling every hideous bigoted thing their ass-benoggined comrades have ever schemed to do. We're going to need to excite real liberals, along with African Americans, Latinos, and people who are fucking mad about the out of control security state and workers' fucking rights to compete with the fucking hordes of drooling mouth-breathers they're digging up from the swamps of Redneck Mordor on the right. Let the games begin, bitches.

4. Isn't your opposition just a distraction to the eventual nominee in what will be a tough fucking race? No. My support for Bernie, and for everything that is decent and true about America, is just that. Just fucking that. Plus, maybe Hillary needs a fucking memo about what the priorities should be. Maybe she needs a couple.

5. Finally, voting for Bernie Fucking Sanders isn't the crazy option. It's the sensible option. What we're seeing is a breakdown in basic confidence in the economic and political system of this country. It's a crisis, and we need new ideas to tackle it. We're either going to elect an experienced political leader who falls outside of the mainstream to challenge the system to make substantial change... or the whole fucking thing is going to fall apart, trampled under a parade of fucking racist TV game show hosts. There will be more Trumps until we burn this wart off and burn it off good. You got that, Fucksketeers?

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12 comments:

  1. I think you're doing just the right thing. I like Bernie Sanders, and more to the point, I like his chances better than Clinton's. He's got that whole "kindly grandfather" thing going for him, and even being unusually far to the left for US presidential candidate might work in his favour - the one thing all Americans seem to agree on is that the way things are now sucks, so someone who promises a new approach probably stands a better chance that someone who claims to be a moderate.

    I mean, I'm a little confused that all of a sudden Clinton is no longer a poor mistreated woman who's been bullied by the big, mean men but someone who "needs a fucking memo on what the priorities should be," apparently delivered by one of those nasty penis-havers, but... yeah. I applaud your voting decision. I think it was the right one.

    I also think that when the day comes when you are dragged away by men in white coats while yelling "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! THEY'RE LITERALLY NAZIS! HAVE PROOF!!!!!", people will be able to use this blog to chart your downward spiral.

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    1. This blog is DEFINITELY a chart of that. No fucking doubt.

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  2. I have nothing to add save my applause.

    Well, and "There's no guarantee those guys won't all be killed in reality show audition video accidents by November." I would watch that movie.

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  3. Ass-benoggined. That is all.

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    1. I did love that one, yes. I chuckled.

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  4. You are pretty much inside my head at this point. Serenity Now!

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    1. I know. I mean, obviously you're looking at the other side, and you don't want to blow the general election. That's a given. But then you start calculating... And it gets like Sherlock up in that shit.

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  5. Me, too. I'm voting for Bernie but I have to wait until May 17 here in Oregon. I've always known that my vote probably won't make any difference, that he might not even be in the race by that time, but -
    I've been voting in elections now for over 40 years. I've cast a ton of votes for the Lesser of in that time, but the only ones I've been proud of were for the people I really loved and believed in. Like Barbara Jordan, my first and best vote. Most of the people I vote for out of conscience lose. In the political system we live in, I'd be surprised otherwise. But if this highly imperfect democracy we have is to mean anything, now or in the future, playing eleventy-dimensional chess about electability is even more the enemy than the authoritarian scum I've always voted against.

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    1. Knight through timewarp 5, to A4, to... whoah, I just captured my own knight there.

      Again.

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  6. I ended up not having to decide. I like both candidates, and Colorado is a caucus state, so as soon as we took a poll it was obvious we were sending four delegates for Sanders and two for Clinton. I was the only one undecided, so I ended up rounding off. Well, I will happily vote for whichever Democrat gets the nomination, and I hope everyone else who voted in the primaries feels the same way.

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    1. That is interesting! Does the system work so that if there were more undecideds you guys would have to argue it out?

      I agree with you on the general.

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