Toilets use an enormous amount of water - three to six liters per flush, or almost 24% of the water consumption in the average home. And the global sewage system that treats it uses massive amounts of energy and leaves a large carbon footprint. Yet in spite of this millions of supporters of Jill Stein are using these environmentally harmful contraptions to dispose of their votes.
It's become a crisis, people. And if you're a Green Party supporter it's time you faced this.
When you use an American toilet to flush your vote in a presidential election, that does nothing more than create a negative impact on all of us. The vote goes into the system as waste, and we end up with a huge problem our children will have to face - and possibly a president who believes global warming is a Chinese hoax.
By voting for Hillary Clinton this year, you could compost that vote, recycle it, and turn it into something useful like a Supreme Court that doesn't want to put a vaginal LoJack on every woman over the age of 12.
Is the process messy and inconvenient? Yes. Does it involve way, way too much of what the French call merde? Hoo boy. We are after all talking about American politics, and that's plenty filthy. But using your vote in this way helps stop what could be an environmental catastrophe, when the next EPA administration is staffed entirely by oil executives and people from the Heritage Foundation.
Some of you think that by voting for a third party you're going to gradually change the system. As if using the Green Party to be a spoiler and help elect one of the most dangerous political figures in modern American history will win over more people to your cause. Yeah, well, maybe that toilet goes to Narnia, and maybe it doesn't. I don't think you should stick your head down there and try to find out.
Some of you want your vote to be an expression of your deepest values, and you just refuse to deal in dirty realities. But this is irresponsible. You know, for an absolute, incontrovertible fact, that when the election is over one of only two candidates will be president of the United States.
And pretending there is no difference between them is pure excrement.
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