Thursday, September 29, 2016

Don't You Know How Wasteful Toilets Are, Jill Stein Fans? Why Are You Flushing Your Votes Down Them?

Toilets use an enormous amount of water - three to six liters per flush, or almost 24% of the water consumption in the average home. And the global sewage system that treats it uses massive amounts of energy and leaves a large carbon footprint. Yet in spite of this millions of supporters of Jill Stein are using these environmentally harmful contraptions to dispose of their votes.

It's become a crisis, people. And if you're a Green Party supporter it's time you faced this.

When you use an American toilet to flush your vote in a presidential election, that does nothing more than create a negative impact on all of us. The vote goes into the system as waste, and we end up with a huge problem our children will have to face - and possibly a president who believes global warming is a Chinese hoax.

By voting for Hillary Clinton this year, you could compost that vote, recycle it, and turn it into something useful like a Supreme Court that doesn't want to put a vaginal LoJack on every woman over the age of 12.

Is the process messy and inconvenient? Yes. Does it involve way, way too much of what the French call merde? Hoo boy. We are after all talking about American politics, and that's plenty filthy. But using your vote in this way helps stop what could be an environmental catastrophe, when the next EPA administration is staffed entirely by oil executives and people from the Heritage Foundation.

Some of you think that by voting for a third party you're going to gradually change the system. As if using the Green Party to be a spoiler and help elect one of the most dangerous political figures in modern American history will win over more people to your cause. Yeah, well, maybe that toilet goes to Narnia, and maybe it doesn't. I don't think you should stick your head down there and try to find out.

Some of you want your vote to be an expression of your deepest values, and you just refuse to deal in dirty realities. But this is irresponsible. You know, for an absolute, incontrovertible fact, that when the election is over one of only two candidates will be president of the United States.

And pretending there is no difference between them is pure excrement.

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5 comments:

  1. The great blogger Tom Boggioni addressed this to Naderites in 2008.
    It’s even more applicable today.

    YOUR MUMIA SWEATSHIRT WON’T GET YOU INTO HEAVEN ANYMORE

    Every year in Happy Gumdrop Fairy-Tale Land all of the sprites and elves and woodland creatures gather together to pick the Rainbow Sunshine Queen. Everyone is there: the Lollipop Guild, the Star-Twinkle Toddlers, the Sparkly Unicorns, the Cookie Baking Apple-cheeked Grandmothers, the Fluffy Bunny Bund, the Rumbly-Tumbly Pupperoos, the Snowflake Princesses, the Baby Duckies All-In-A-Row, the Laughing Babies, and the Dykes on Bikes.

    They have a big picnic with cupcakes and gumdrops and pudding pops, stopping only to cast their votes by throwing Magic Wishing Rocks into the Well of Laughter, Comity, and Good Intentions. Afterward they spend the rest of the night dancing and singing and waving glow sticks until dawn when they tumble sleepy-eyed into beds made of the purest and whitest goose down where they dream of angels and clouds of spun sugar.

    You don’t live there.

    Grow the fuck up.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Some people hate that post from Tbogg, (usually the targets of it) I think it is a brilliant distillation of the frustration that people who live in the real world have with those people

      Delete
  2. Except that it's Johnson who's getting most of the protest votes - Stein barely registers. Johnson supporters aren't disaffected republicans - they're all lining up behind trump like the cowards they are. It's people who think Hillary is too corporate who think that the solution is to vote for a former republican governor who supports the same old tax cuts for the rich and deregulation. That's insane, and that's what needs to be called out.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I disagree with you about who Johnson supporters are, but maybe there's evidence to settle this.

      Do you have numbers to back up the claim that Johnson supporters contain a large chunk of progressives who might vote Clinton? I'd love to see that, and I promise you I will happily admit I'm wrong and blog about it.

      What do you have? I'll put it up top on the blog.

      Delete

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