Friday, October 28, 2016

The Trump Brand Guarantees Only The Finest In Luxury Failure

Hi, I'm Donald Trump - businessman, author, and presidential silver medalist. I'd like to welcome you to the hotels, golf courses, casinos, and multi-level marketing seminars of the Trump Organization. We know you're a discerning customer who expects nothing less than the best. So when you see that big golden T, you understand that it means the kind of exclusive failure you won't get anywhere else.

Are you a platinum-level executive looking to relax with 18 holes after a busy day smashing computer hard drives? Maybe you want somewhere to stay for awhile, somewhere you can unwind and decompress and not use your legal name. You'd like a hotel with the finest perks - a world class gym and spa, and staff who won't disturb you at 3 am if they hear loud weeping coming through the door.

Spend a weekend at one of the most exciting gaming centers in the Mid-Atlantic region, where a team of professionals is on hand to turn your assets into cash flow as your luck fluctuates. You'll find flexibility and comfort while you're doubling-down on a few bold calls. At a Trump establishment, we get that. My people understand your needs. Believe me.

With quality entertainment by some of the hottest 1970s-era talent and cuisine that's been given an elite rating of "PASS" by some of the most discerning public health agencies... the Trump family of establishments will anticipate your needs and pamper you while you go through an interesting business cycle, a marriage turnaround, or a misunderstanding with the authorities.

My family spent decades making the Trump brand what it is... and then I spent 16 months making it something different entirely. Did I take it to whole different level? You might say that. Sure. I guess that sounds good.

Welcome, friends.

TRUMP TALES OF TERROR is about ugly creatures, murderous fantasies, and apocalyptic worlds – and they’re right in America. YOU CAN BUY IT HERE.

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