Thursday, February 9, 2017

"No One Ever Visits, And I Think The Staff Is Stealing From Me," By Donald Trump

I don't like it here. I don't know why I had to leave my home in New York. When Steve made me do this he promised to visit every day, but now I don't see him. He's planning some sanctions or something with Mike, and I'm all alone here. Also, I'm certain one of the staff took my bathrobe the other day.

"The facility is really great, dad. You have everything you want." That's what Jared told me. "There's a pool, and the food is great, and we're going to make sure all the TVs get cable so you can watch Fox whenever you want." But I miss my family and friends, and the people at all the rallies. Why can't we go back to the way it was?

My phone disappeared the other day after some tweet I made, and then when I complained about it, it got magically "found" again. You think I don't know what's going on? I get confused sometimes, sure. I can't find the Situation Room, and I say "Yemen" when I'm talking about Iran. But I'm still sharp - my doctor said so. Now Sean Spicer talks to those reporters about me like I'm not even there. Do you know how that makes me feel?

I am a human being, okay? And I won the electoral vote! I demand some respect.

If they serve that nasty tapioca again, I'm completely going to threaten China with an airstrike. Then they'll start paying attention.

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  1. Do you mind if I share and link to this on Democratic Underground? I know the site wasn't always appreciative of your writing, but I think this is brilliant and many people there will love it.

    1. Please do. Some people on the site gave me a hard time, but readers like you made it fun. You can ALWAYS link there. Don't have to ask beforehand. I think their rule is the first few paragraphs, and then a link or something?


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